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I see a psychiatrist regularly and have gone on a few dates but the legacy of the drama surrounding his death still leaves a morbidly that spikes curiosity of any new person I meet. Albeit after 2 years I seem to be moving in a better personal place, I have found it easier not to seek any activity that puts me in a situation to tell or explain his death.

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When my wife Susie and I first got married we lived with her parents for a couple of years until we could afford to buy something of our own. They had a very large house in a select suburb not far from the centre of a city in the South West of England where they used to do a lot of entertaining — business clients as well as friends.

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"One of the booths at the event had talked about anthropology.

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"Whatever has come over you?" I was too numb to do anything but shiver, my teeth chattering.

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" I just nodded and continued following him to the office where we were supposed to check in. Twenty minutes later, I was handing out my first survey after several rejections.

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Yet all those truths didn't make it hurt any less that I wasn't going to be a mom.

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My sigh made my chest shudder, and my throat was raw from coughing and crying.

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